Tag Archives: Year 7

How to Deal With Your Teenager

Live and Learn
How to Deal With Your Teenager

by Kru Dokmai, Head Teachers (Thai)

 

I’d like to share what I read about how to deal with teenagers. As many of you know I have 2 children. They are 11 and 6 years old. For the older girl, I imagine it will be easy to deal with her when she is an adult, but it’s not easy at this age (11-12 years old). The way I treated her before doesn’t work anymore!

This article helped me to understand teenagers more, and is helping me learn how to deal with my own pre-teen. As your kids go into their teen years, many things will begin to change. To get along and help your teen develop in a positive direction, you’ll need to change your expectations and develop empathy, all the while establishing boundaries.

Creating a safe, supportive, structured, and loving environment is as important for you as it is for your teen.


Adjusting to Their Independence

1. Treat them like a teen, not a child or adult. Your teen is not a small child anymore, so it’s important to adjust your expectations and not treat them like a child. However, teens are not quite adults and cannot be held responsible as an adult. The teenage brain is in the middle of a critical stage of development, and teens need you to help them through this part of their lives.

2. Be flexible with their freedoms. If your teen is making an effort and showing their responsibility, allow more freedom. If they are making bad choices, be more restrictive. Ultimately, show them that their behavior gives them freedom or restrictions and their own choices determine their outcomes.

3. Focus on trust, not suspicion. It’s true that teens can get into a lot of trouble, but don’t focus your attention on the bad things they’ve done in the past or the risks they might face. If you think your teen may be up to something, have them explain it to you fully. Ask questions instead of jumping to conclusions.

Enforcing rules and consequences

1. Stay calm. If you are angry, take a moment and gather yourself. Take a few deep breaths or walk away and come back when you’re calmer. This way, you’re more likely to give reasonable consequences.

2. Establish boundaries and stick to them. The teen should know what is expected of them. Teens will want to push the boundaries, so remain firm when you set a limit. Discuss these boundaries with your teen, and let them have a say in how they work. They are more likely to follow rules that they helped establish. Put boundaries and rules in writing so that there’s no confusion as to what’s expected of your teen.

3. Enforce consequences. Learning to navigate problem behaviors can be tricky. If you’re too lenient, your teen may think they have no limits or you don’t take their behavior seriously. However, if you’re too strict, your teen may grow to resent you or they may rebel. When your teen breaks a rule, calmly tell them what they did and why they are in trouble. When deciding on a consequence, make sure it’s proportional to the behavior and not given out of anger.

4. Be reasonable. One of the best ways to be reasonable is to listen to your teen’s perspective. When they’re in trouble, ask them what a reasonable consequence might be. Get their input and consider their perspective.

5. Handle conflicts. Sometimes, your teens may want to prove themselves to you or test their independence in your home. Refuse to fight with them. You can avoid major conflicts by monitoring your own reactions to your teen, even if you think they’re being outrageous.

6. Use effective communication. Keep a path of open communication between you whenever possible so they can ask questions, admit mistakes, and reach out when they need help. Instead of jumping to conclusions about your teen’s behavior, ask questions.

Showing Your Love


1. Have fun together. Make sure you find time to enjoy your teen.

2. Develop empathy. Your teen is looking for someone to understand what they’re going through. They generally don’t need you to fix their problems for them (they’ll figure that out for themselves), but they need someone who’ll listen to and empathize with them.

3. Honor and respect your teen. Just as you want your teen to treat you with respect, treat them with respect as well. Constantly yelling at a child can damage their emotions and cause them to feel insecure.

4. Support your teen’s interests. Get them involved in the activities they enjoy and show that you support them. This shows that you care and are invested in their skills and happiness.

5. Open your home to your teenager’s friends. Be a good sport by opening your own home to them. Create a space where they can hang out by themselves but you can casually walk through.

6. Be available to them. Show your love to your teen by being there for them. Not all teens want to talk with their parents, but let them know you’re willing to listen.

Enjoy quality time with your teenager!

Source: The article was co-authored by Paul Chernyak, LPC. Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

 

Panyaden Year 7 Graduation Trip

Panyaden Year 7 Graduation Trip Day 1
Year 7 Graduation Trip

Celebrating Learning at Panyaden

Our annual Year 7 graduation trip is an opportunity to practise and celebrate all that the students have learned from their time at Panyaden. They started at a mountain village where they learned local wisdom from Karen locals who have maintained a traditional, self-sufficient lifestyle in spite of pressure to conform to mainstream agricultural methods, then moved on to a poor, rural school where they taught English and cooked with the children and finished up kayaking at Mae Ngat reservoir.

DAY 1: Huai Hin Lad Nai, a Karen village in Chiang Rai. The village chief taught us about the curative properties of local plants. We learned how to identify wild Assam tea plants and spent the afternoon exploring the hill side, harvesting tea tips. The chief taught us how to roast the tea leaves over a bamboo fire then cure them in the sunshine. We also learned about ‘rotational farming’, where villagers integrate seasonal crops within the wild forest landscape and how the village harvests wild honey and makes honey-infused soap which are sold at the market.

WE LEARNED ABOUT: nature, traditional lifestyles, self-sufficiency, practical life skills, perseverance, creative thinking, independence, responsibility, problem-solving, teamwork.

Panyaden Year 7 Graduation Trip Day 2 - Teaching English Panyaden Year 7 Graduation Trip Day 3 - building rock sculptures Panyaden Year 7 Graduation Trip Day 3 - at Mae Ngat

Day 2: Mae Mae, a small hillside village in Chiang Dao. We visited Mae Mae school, a boarding school for mainly orphaned primary age students from nearby hill villages. Students taught an English lesson to the students, then the two schools worked together to prepare a pancake breakfast for each other and played dodgeball in the playground with balls Panyaden brought and donated to the school. We also explored the local river.

Day 3: Mae Ngat reservoir. We did team-building activities, kayaked on the reservoir, and had fun!

WE LEARNED ABOUT: community service, kindness and empathy, teaching, presentation skills, practical life skills, responsibility, independence, how to kayak, water safety, caring for each other, teamwork.

See photos here:
Y7 Graduation Trip Day 1
Panyaden Y7 Graduation Trip 2

Panyaden Graduate Visits

Panyaden graduate visits school

Panyaden Graduate Success!

We were delighted on Friday at the visit of Year 7 graduate Jimmy and his mum who was happy to answer the question many parents ask: how does Panyaden prepare their child for high school? “When I took Jimmy to his new school, the admissions officer told me that if Jimmy came from Panyaden, they would take him for sure. They didn’t even need an entrance exam!

“He has since scored really high marks in English, science and maths and this is a boy who came to Panyaden only 3 years ago with no English at all. I was so worried when we started at Panyaden because he was shy and had no friends but I am so grateful that Panyaden gave him a chance. It completely changed him. In just one term he had good friends and his enthusiasm for learning and his confidence grew and grew. He is now a confident boy who thinks for himself and knows how to solve problems. He has got great academic grades in his new school, but Panyaden taught him so much more than that.” Jimmy is attending the international programme at a Thai bilingual school. He told us he misses Panyaden very much. And we miss him too!