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How to Deal With Your Teenager

Live and Learn
How to Deal With Your Teenager

by Kru Dokmai, Head Teachers (Thai)

 

I’d like to share what I read about how to deal with teenagers. As many of you know I have 2 children. They are 11 and 6 years old. For the older girl, I imagine it will be easy to deal with her when she is an adult, but it’s not easy at this age (11-12 years old). The way I treated her before doesn’t work anymore!

This article helped me to understand teenagers more, and is helping me learn how to deal with my own pre-teen. As your kids go into their teen years, many things will begin to change. To get along and help your teen develop in a positive direction, you’ll need to change your expectations and develop empathy, all the while establishing boundaries.

Creating a safe, supportive, structured, and loving environment is as important for you as it is for your teen.


Adjusting to Their Independence

1. Treat them like a teen, not a child or adult. Your teen is not a small child anymore, so it’s important to adjust your expectations and not treat them like a child. However, teens are not quite adults and cannot be held responsible as an adult. The teenage brain is in the middle of a critical stage of development, and teens need you to help them through this part of their lives.

2. Be flexible with their freedoms. If your teen is making an effort and showing their responsibility, allow more freedom. If they are making bad choices, be more restrictive. Ultimately, show them that their behavior gives them freedom or restrictions and their own choices determine their outcomes.

3. Focus on trust, not suspicion. It’s true that teens can get into a lot of trouble, but don’t focus your attention on the bad things they’ve done in the past or the risks they might face. If you think your teen may be up to something, have them explain it to you fully. Ask questions instead of jumping to conclusions.

Enforcing rules and consequences

1. Stay calm. If you are angry, take a moment and gather yourself. Take a few deep breaths or walk away and come back when you’re calmer. This way, you’re more likely to give reasonable consequences.

2. Establish boundaries and stick to them. The teen should know what is expected of them. Teens will want to push the boundaries, so remain firm when you set a limit. Discuss these boundaries with your teen, and let them have a say in how they work. They are more likely to follow rules that they helped establish. Put boundaries and rules in writing so that there’s no confusion as to what’s expected of your teen.

3. Enforce consequences. Learning to navigate problem behaviors can be tricky. If you’re too lenient, your teen may think they have no limits or you don’t take their behavior seriously. However, if you’re too strict, your teen may grow to resent you or they may rebel. When your teen breaks a rule, calmly tell them what they did and why they are in trouble. When deciding on a consequence, make sure it’s proportional to the behavior and not given out of anger.

4. Be reasonable. One of the best ways to be reasonable is to listen to your teen’s perspective. When they’re in trouble, ask them what a reasonable consequence might be. Get their input and consider their perspective.

5. Handle conflicts. Sometimes, your teens may want to prove themselves to you or test their independence in your home. Refuse to fight with them. You can avoid major conflicts by monitoring your own reactions to your teen, even if you think they’re being outrageous.

6. Use effective communication. Keep a path of open communication between you whenever possible so they can ask questions, admit mistakes, and reach out when they need help. Instead of jumping to conclusions about your teen’s behavior, ask questions.

Showing Your Love


1. Have fun together. Make sure you find time to enjoy your teen.

2. Develop empathy. Your teen is looking for someone to understand what they’re going through. They generally don’t need you to fix their problems for them (they’ll figure that out for themselves), but they need someone who’ll listen to and empathize with them.

3. Honor and respect your teen. Just as you want your teen to treat you with respect, treat them with respect as well. Constantly yelling at a child can damage their emotions and cause them to feel insecure.

4. Support your teen’s interests. Get them involved in the activities they enjoy and show that you support them. This shows that you care and are invested in their skills and happiness.

5. Open your home to your teenager’s friends. Be a good sport by opening your own home to them. Create a space where they can hang out by themselves but you can casually walk through.

6. Be available to them. Show your love to your teen by being there for them. Not all teens want to talk with their parents, but let them know you’re willing to listen.

Enjoy quality time with your teenager!

Source: The article was co-authored by Paul Chernyak, LPC. Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

 

Panyaden Air Quality Concerns

Yodphet Sudsawad, Panyaden International School Founder, gave a media interview about Panyaden’s measures to Chiang Mai air situation recently:

“We have monitored the Chiang Mai Haze closely and realise that government agencies have managed the haze issue by short term policies of forest fires eradication. We appreciate the way officers work at full capacity even with limited manpower. As members of the parents’ and teachers’ community, we are willing to assist in any way we can the government’s sustainable measures to put an end to the practice of burning”.

Our first concern is the health of our children

We, therefore, created the guidance to limit outdoor activities. We know that some students may not go to school when the haze comes but the school will send them the learning programme to learn at home too.

Panyaden was designed around the concept of natural living to promote the ‘Love Nature’ spirit. The majority of our learning takes place outside the classroom. For this burning season, the school adapted itself by sealing all learning areas and installing air conditioners and extra air filter on the air conditioning units. We also installed air purifiers in every classroom. We closely and continuously monitor the AQI and PM2.5 to adjust our outdoor activities in real time.

 

Panyaden Outdoor Activity Guidelines based on the International Air Quality Standards

We created the “Panyaden Outdoor Activity Guidelines” in line with the International Air Quality Standards” and World Health Organisation guidelines to help us manage the school daily activities. The guidelines were communicated and posted in all the rooms in the school to make sure teachers keep students safely indoors when needed so they can breathe better quality air than outside.

    “I would like to stress that what the school has done and will continue to do is to cultivate the ‘Love Nature’ spirit. We will use the haze issue as to inspire our students to sharpen their environmental mindset and fight pollution. We aim to educate our students to be #ChangeMakers . They are the ones who will take care of the world tomorrow.”  Yodphet concluded.

 

คุณยอดเพชร สุดสวาท ผู้ก่อตั้งโรงเรียนนานาชาติปัญญาเด่น ได้ให้สัมภาษณ์กับผู้สื่อข่าวเกี่ยวกับแนวทางการรับมือกับสภาพอากาศของจังหวัดเชียงใหม่ของโรงเรียนนานาชาติปัญญาเด่น เมื่อเร็วๆ นี้

            “จากสภาวะมลพิษทางอากาศของจังหวัดเชียงใหม่ เราสนใจติดตามข่าวสารอย่างใกล้ชิดและทราบดีว่าทางการได้มีมาตรการแก้ไขปัญหาในระยะสั้นในการกำจัดไฟป่าออกมาแล้ว ส่วนตัวรู้สึกเห็นใจเจ้าหน้าที่ที่ทำงานอย่างเต็มกำลังความสามารถภายใต้กำลังคนที่มีอย่างจำกัด ในฐานะส่วนหนึ่งของชุมชนที่ประกอบไปด้วยครูอาจารย์และผู้ปกครอง เรามีความยินดีที่จะให้ความร่วมมือกับมาตรการระยะยาวของภาครัฐในทุกระดับเพื่อให้สามารถยุติปัญหาหมอกควันนี้ได้โดยสิ้นเชิง”

สิ่งที่สำคัญที่สุดของโรงเรียนคือสุขภาพของเด็กๆ

ที่ผ่านมาเมื่อเกิดภาวะทางอากาศที่ไม่เหมาะสม เราก็จะเพิ่มรูปแบบกิจกรรมการเรียนรู้ในร่ม หรือหากแม้ว่านักเรียนจะไม่ได้มาโรงเรียนในวันนั้น ทางโรงเรียนก็จะจัดโปรแกรมการเรียนการสอนไปให้เพื่อให้นักเรียนสามารถเรียนรู้ได้อย่างต่อเนื่อง

เนื่องจากโรงเรียนนานาชาติปัญญาเด่น ได้รับการออกแบบภายใต้แนวคิดในการเปิดประสบการณ์ให้เด็กๆ ได้สัมผัสกับธรรมชาติอย่างใกล้ชิด กิจกรรมการเรียนรู้ส่วนใหญ่ของเราจึงเป็นกิจกรรมภายนอกห้องเรียน เมื่อมีปัญหามลภาวะทางอากาศในจังหวัดเชียงใหม่ เราจึงปรับตัวด้วยการปิดส่วนระบายอากาศและติดตั้งเครื่องปรับอากาศพร้อมเพิ่มแผ่นกรองอากาศที่เครื่องปรับอากาศทุกเครื่องอีกชั้นหนึ่ง รวมถึงจัดให้มีเครื่องกรองอากาศในทุกห้องเรียน โดยมีการตรวจวัดค่าAQI และค่าPM 2.5 อย่างต่อเนื่อง เพื่อให้คุณครูสามารถปรับรูปแบบกิจกรรมการเรียนการสอนให้เหมาะสมกับสภาพแวดล้อมได้อย่างทันท่วงที

ข้อกำหนดการจัดกิจกรรมนอกชั้นเรียน อ้างอิงจากดัชนีวัดคุณภาพอากาศ (AQI)

เรายังได้จัดทำ “ข้อกำหนดการจัดกิจกรรมนอกชั้นเรียน อ้างอิงจากดัชนีวัดคุณภาพอากาศ (AQI)” ตามมาตรฐานระดับสากล และสอดคล้องกับแนวทางดูแลสุขภาพตามคำแนะนำขององค์กรอนามัยโลก ซึ่งเราได้สื่อสารข้อกำหนดนี้และติดประกาศในทุกห้องในโรงเรียน โดยให้คุณครูใช้เป็นแนวทางในการปรับกิจกรรมการเรียนให้สอดคล้องกับคุณภาพอากาศในแต่ละวัน โดยวันที่มีมลภาวะทางอากาศสูง กิจกรรมการเรียนรู้ของนักเรียนจะถูกจำกัดให้อยู่แต่ภายในห้องเรียนซึ่งปลอดภัยและมีคุณภาพอากาศดีกว่าภายนอก

“ทางโรงเรียนยังมุ่งมั่นที่จะสืบสานปณิธานที่เราดำเนินมาอย่างต่อเนื่อง นั่นคือการปลูกฝัง “ความรักธรรมชาติและสิ่งแวดล้อม” ให้กับนักเรียน โดยใช้กรณีหมอกควันนี้เป็นตัวอย่างให้นักเรียนของเราได้ตระหนักในความสำคัญของสิ่งแวดล้อม เพราะพวกเขาคือพลังสำคัญในฐานะ #ผู้นำการเปลี่ยนแปลง ที่จะดูแลรักษาโลกของเราต่อไปในอนาคต” คุณยอดเพชร สรุป

Midterm Break Message

Let Them Do Nothing!

by Kru Michel, Primary School Principal

With a school break approaching, kids are often looking forward to lots of computer or TV time while parents start scheduling activities and fill up the schedule so no one gets bored. Nothing wrong with joining a club or playing video games but there is one important activity that is usually overlooked: doing nothing!

You might have heard that “The Devil finds work for idle hands”. That could be why we think we should keep our kids busy at all times. However, research shows that creativity and inner peace are more likely to arise during free exploration play. Daydreaming is apparently also linked to better emotional control and the ability to deal with frustration. Read more

Unfortunately, in wanting to make sure our children are not bored, we overschedule their time or give in to their request to have more computer or TV time.

“Middle-class children in America are so overscheduled that they have almost no ‘nothing time.’ They have no time to call on their own resources and be creative. Creativity is making something out of nothing, and it takes time for that to happen,” says Diane Ehrensaft, Ph.D., a developmental and clinical psychologist and professor at The Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. Read more

Signs that a child is too busy:

    1. Sleep is disturbed.
    1. Your child has emotional outbursts or displays frustration and anxiety.
    1. He misses spending time with parents, family and friends.
    1. She cheers when a lesson or practice is cancelled.
    1. Performance at school declines. Click to Read more

So, when school is out, provide your child with ample time to be “bored”, time where no computer, tv or organised activities are available, time where they will have to figure out what to do and therefore start enjoying simple activities they would not get to enjoy otherwise.

Also, I wish you have a great vacation with a lot of new experiences.

Looking forward to seeing you again on 17th April!

 

Panyaden Youth Theatre Musical

Panyaden Youth Theatre presents Mary Poppins the Musical Theatre poster

Panyaden Youth Theatre Presents
Mary Poppins the Musical Theatre

Only 3 more days to go! Our students are really excited and have been working very hard during rehearsals, let’s all support their efforts! The performance is on Friday, 23 February 2018, from 4pm to 5pm at the school Assembly Hall. You can get your tickets at the school office (only 100 baht for adults and 50 baht for children). You can also check Panyaden’s event page for details or email: info@panyaden.ac.th for more information. Come join in the fun!

Panyaden Youth Theatre students rehearsing Mary Poppins Panyaden Youth Theatre students rehearsing Mary Poppins the musical theatre Panyaden Youth Theatre students rehearsing for their performance of Mary Poppins

Above photos: Panyaden Youth Theatre students rehearsing

Venerable Ajahn Jayasaro Visits

Ven. Ajahn Jayasaro with students at Panyaden

Venerable Ajahn Jayasaro at Panyaden, 7 November 2017

A wonderful opportunity for the school community as Venerable Ajahn Jayasaro visits Panyaden. Beginning with an alms round in the morning, Venerable Jayasaro spent time with students and teachers before giving a Dhamma Talk to the wider community after school. Venerable Jayasaro was impressed by the incredible support and goodwill shown by students, teachers, parents and friends. His presence motivated and inspired us. Venerable Jayasaro asked that the alms generously offered by students and parents be donated to the Wat Don Chan orphanage in Chiang Mai.

Morning alms for Venerable Ajahn Jayasaro at Panyaden temporary campus Students offering morning alms to Venerable Ajahn Jayasaro at Panyaden temporary campus Venerable Ajahn Jayasaro giving a dhamma talk to Panyaden community at the school's temporary site

Click on Panyaden’s blog image gallery for more photos of Venerable Ajahn Jayasaro’s visit.

Back to Panyaden Blog.

Cultivating Responsibility at Panyaden

Panyaden Swimming Pool Rules Signboards made by Year 6/7 students
Who makes the rules? We do! By fully involving Panyaden International School students in making agreements, whether in the classroom, at the swimming pool or at home, we encourage a sense of personal responsibility towards them.

Panyaden Year 6/7 students making signboards for school swimming pool Panyaden Year 6/7 student sanding down wooden signboard for school swimming pool Panyaden Year 6/7 student working on wodden signboard for school swimming pool Panyaden Year 6/7 students making swimming pool rules signboards for school Panyaden Year 6/7 students putting up the wooden swimming pool rules signboards they made

Click to see more photos of Panyaden Year 6/7 making swimming pool rules signboards.

 

Panyaden Year 1-7 Primary School Budding Day

Panyaden International School Primary Budding Day: student performance

Learning through teaching

Panyaden Budding Day 2016. Our primary students show their parents what they have learned this term by teaching them how to solve maths problems, how to dance, about the different types of electrical circuits….and much, much more. Budding Day not only celebrates what students have learned in Term 1, it also provides them with an opportunity to deepen understanding, practise presentation skills and work as a team.

_mg_3182-logo Primary students outdoors with their parents, Panyaden International School Budding Day _mg_3304-logo Drawing with parents, Panyaden International School's Budding Day for primary students _mg_3217-logo This is how it's done, Panyaden student with parents on the school's Budding Day for primary studentsPanyaden students conducting an experiment with their parents on Panyaden's Budding Day for primary students

_mg_3249-logo Hila hoop! Fun activity during Panyaden's Primary Budding Day celebration _mg_3204-logo Panyaden primary students presenting to parents during the school's Budding Day 2016 _mg_3185-logo Primary students and teacher band, Primary Budding Day at Panyaden International School _mg_3316-logo Panyaden's end of term Budding Day celebration for primary students

Click on our image gallery for more photos of Panyaden’s Primary School Budding Day.

Panyaden Budding Day 2016 Preparations

Panyaden International School students prepare for their Budding Day, end of term celebration of learning. _mg_2914-logo Panyaden primary students rehearsing their music for the school's end of term celebration of learning, Budding Day 2016

Panyaden’s Budding Day preparations

Our students get ready for our end-of-term celebration of learning. Nursery and Kindergarten 1-2 presentations start tomorrow, 8 December, from 8.45am to 9.45am;and  Primary Budding Day is on 9 December from 1.20pm to 3.45pm. We look forward to seeing you!

Visit our image gallery for more photos of the Budding Day preparations.